Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse...The sun has not yet come up on this Christmas eve morning. As I finish my advent devotions I glance over at a Hallmark snowman figurine glowing on the stand. It was my mom's and she loved it so! I always had to replace the batteries once a season because it was forever on!
It's the second Christmas without her here. And with that a new dimension of emotions. A new level of melancholy hovers over me at not having our family together.
To say that I am use to it isn't quite true. Even though I have had over 30 years of practice with being a military family, what you once thought you had a handle on tends to slip through your fingers as you age & see grandchildren growing up from afar (also in a military family)
My snowman is filled with a clear liquid that swirls shiny glitter, at first very slowly then it gains momentum til it's one massive solid sparkle. It's hard to even focus on a single piece of glitter. All the while it's also changing color.
It occurred to me that that is what our lives are like. Well at least mine has been. Times when things seem almost slow enough that I can clearly see each little detail (the good and the not so good) and then times when there's so much 'stuff' going on (long work hours, grief, sickness, sadness etc) you long for the days when it was simpler.
I had an unexpected surprise as I set the snowman on display in the corner. As the glitter swirled in turmoil what was cast on the wall above it was a mini aurora borealis!!
The colors changed with a peaceful fluidity and while you could still see in it some movements reflected from the agitated figure below it was softened & muted and not nearly as bright & harsh as it had seemed while I focused only on the man of snow.
It brought to mind what I need to keep my eyes on. That when I feel backed into a corner, hang onto my faith & just keep looking up and watch how God can take my jumbled chaotic life and filter it making it something unexpectedly beautiful. All the while calming me and giving me an inner peace. I only need to have the eyes & heart to see the aurora. It's a choice I must make.