Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Growing Pains

I was very surprised when I looked & found that I had not written since April! But I assure you that isn’t because there wasn’t anything going on. I’ve had what everyone has within a year..losses of friends & loved ones, disappointments and joys.  Little did I have any idea that my ‘peace’ lesson was really only getting started then.

At that time I was falsely under the impression that my hands would be 'fixed’ in no time at all. While in fact, here it is Dec 31, and it’s still there, albeit diminished greatly. While the naturopath helped a great deal it was still only a small portion of the puzzle. It wouldn’t be until mid-August  that I received an even bigger piece, by way of a name to what I have (thoracic outlet syndrome) which then led to a better understanding of all the causes of it. From that point I was able to work further at figuring out my particular personal irritants (stresses of life, poor computer posture) that had created some very bad habits (holding my jaw tense) which in turn had exacerbated my symptoms.  Whew!!  As it turns out theraputic massage has been the biggest proponent for me getting back to my old relatively pain-free self.   This whole process would still take months and I’m not completely finished yet.  And through the process it crossed my mind numerous times that maybe THIS is my new normal (enter a physical shudder at the thought)...however I held onto my faith...which leads to my bigger healing & progress.

During the 24/7 extreme hand pain that I’ve had; through the thoughts of ‘is this my new normal?’ I found my thinking begin to change as well. My thoughts shifted from the pain and 'woe is me’ to ‘what do you want me to learn from this God? Please tell me how this is a positive thing’.

As this mind shift started to take place, I felt a peace, a calm that it was going to be ok...I started to have the clarity I needed to figure out what I needed to do to also help myself....and then I started to get a physical relief, very subtle at first but it’s gaining momentum. The bigger lesson to it all? My relationship with God is so much nearer & dearer to my heart, because my prayer life has been taken to a whole new level! I have had to lean upon Him so.  And He has answered me.  Through this experience, I have been made aware to take the time & to have more empathy for people. Plato is quoted as saying "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  I have always tried to be a thoughtful, sincerely caring person however those words have really taken on a deeper meaning for me...If you looked at me from the outside you would have no idea of the debilitating pain I was in with every move of my hands but inside of course I was hurting & just trying to live & work through it.  That’s how everyone is, I think...it might look to us that they have it all but inside they could be carrying a deep ‘hurt’ beit emotionally or physically.

I am greatly encouraged by all these lessons. I feel empowered & hopeful, if you will, that I am better equipped to perhaps help inspire others through their own pain, to have peace & keep the faith. The outpouring of love, support and prayers from my friends confirms to me that they can also appreciate my ‘growing pains’.  How many times they signed their emails ‘hugs’...what better way....H.U.G.S.~ Helping Us Grow Spiritually

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