Monday, February 8, 2010

A splash of purple

A stranger wouldn't probably notice the splash of purple that dotted the church memorial's crowd. I however, being a niece, did see my Aunt Joyce's signature color everywhere ie. purple coats, purple beaded necklace, purple shirts etc. It was perfect! I was disappointed in myself that I hadn't thought of that! It was a hand to forehead moment. DUH!

A granddaughter read her special memories of her grandmother. In particular, the wrapping of Christmas presents & her participation in her granddaughter's recent wedding plans. One daughter also recapped her final days doing things with her mom just 3 days prior to her passing. Taking her for a rootbeer float & picking up her favorite candybar. Plus the reading of emails from friends that weren't able to make it.

I was so very touched by her close knit group of girlfriends there. It was a beautiful moment. These are the gals she went to the movies with, ate lunch with, had card club with & summer picnics. Each one came up to the front with a pink rose in hand (the second favorite color when purple isn't available) and many shared their special memories of her. Nothing grand, mind you, in the big scheme of things but as I've mentioned in other blogs THOSE aren't the things you necessarily remember. It's the little things that are part of the everyday that you carry with you when a person leaves. Whether it be an expression, a mannerism or just an outlook on a situation. And ultimately it's how that person makes you feel when you're with them.

Times like these make me introspective. I too have my memories of her. As a child every Christmas she bought me a Madame Alexander doll from the Little Woman series. And more recently, when her & my uncle came for dinner, she brought a chocolate cake in a beautiful clear glass dish. When she handed me the cake she also included that the dish was for me too! I cannot tell you how thrilled I was! Oh and lest I forget, she brought her homemade fudge! THE best I have ever tasted bar none!!!

My dad also had many memories of his own. As we sat in the church he told me how he remembered standing at that very alter as best man at their wedding 60 years ago! Yes, SIXTY! Funny how things all started for them there & had now come full circle.

Yes, funerals make me introspective. As I listened to those speaking & watching the girlfriends come forward, it made me wonder how I would be remembered someday. And every persons legacy is different of course. For instance, I was saddened to think that almost all of my closest girlfriends live in other states now & because of distance have never even met each other.

I was pleased that the pastor speaking touched upon something that I was actually thinking about being pleasantly surprised while attending a funeral. For one, you see a different side perhaps of the deceased because it is through the eyes of those that loved them most. He also said even though our tears are from our pain he finds joy.....hmmm, odd thing for a pastor to say, huh? & he didn't look like the sadistic type...but he went on to say that those tears tell him how much that person was loved & will be missed. They made a difference.

My Aunt wasn't 'out of the ordinary' in societies terms. But she was definitely her authentic self, ya know? And we loved her....the good, the bad & the ugly. And I will forever think of her when I am out to eat...The saying 'Life is too short, eat dessert first" ?....well that was her motto!!!

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