I am often speculative on why certain things happen in our lives. I do have a great faith in God and I've had such a blessed life on so many levels. But I know that sometimes God says 'no' to our requests.
Since losing our ratty Nigel a couple months ago, as we saw Malcolm's health also decline, (I'm sure this was compounded by his mourning his brother's passing) I prayed that God would take him so we didn't have to make 'the decision'. But I also had a great faith that we would 'know' when/if it was time for us to step in.
That came last night at bedtime. Stephen & I always checked on him and told him goodnight before we headed to bed. Since the afternoon he'd taken a gigantic turn for the worst. It was so bad that neither of us thought he'd live through the hour...We kept checking hour after hour though, making sure he was as comfortable as we could make it for him and he was still hanging in there at shortly after 4 when we could no longer stay in bed. As a matter of fact Stephen said Mal was trying to eat a blueberry but he kept dropping it.
I then had to wait til 9 am until the vet office opened. Wouldn't you know our trusted Dr. Honse was off this day when I needed her! But I could not let Malcolm struggle to breath any longer than necessary. As it turned out Dr. Morrow whom I'd never met was super, super nice. We hit it off right away and she was a rodent lover to boot which
helped (said she tried to save her hamster with surgery even) Then after she did her thing I was sitting there petting him and I saw our friend Leia (the tech who'd been with us with Piper and mom & dad's realtor)
She came in and stayed with me. It was so nice having a friend there, ya know? Helped alot...
My daughter and I talked about this just yesterday which hadn't been a good day in other ways but we could see God's hand in working certain things out that only He could. I don't care to go into more details so you'll have to trust me on this. Ü God is definately good.
I know Stephen felt horrible that I was going to have to take Malcolm by myself. But you see, Leia only fills in for people on vacation at the clinic nowadays and isn't normally working there anymore. I have no doubt HE put her there so I wouldn't have to go through it all alone.
And to find all the comfort I can in these times I have to remind myself that sometimes our hands have to be empty so that we can receive & grab hold of the new good things God has in store for us.